Christmas love...

This Christmas we had our entire family here (my parents, in-laws, sis-in-law). I'm so glad I did an EFT tapping session with my Canadian friend, Karen, about the holidays and what that brings ;) because the stuff we tapped about went beautifully!! My attitude, in general, was good too, and that makes all the difference.

I found out about a few things the day before all the grandparents left...things that made me want to go ballistic on all of them, lol! My dad decided to share with me (my parents and I had lunch while everyone else went to play in the snow) that he and my in-laws had a table-talk and concerns had been expressed ;) big surprise!! I should have stopped him right then, knowing that this was his way of rabble-rousing, but I let him continue...

Concerns mentioned are really nothing new- oldest son's hair length, weight, how much _______ the boys do, what they eat, that we don't all sit at the table and eat together when they're in town (not that all 10 of us would fit around my small table, but I digress...), how my oldest doesn't sit around reading all the time (which is interesting, considering that they say he's not active enough)...that the boys have too many toys, video games, etc. That they are "spoiled".

All of this fodder just gets me steamed! And takes me away from MY reality...that life is good, all is well, and we're doing just fine, thank you!! :)

When I spoke with DH about it, he said that he'd gotten the full-court press from his mom on the way to pick up his sis from the airport. He listened and answered that he appreciates her input, and we're happy with the way we do things, thank you! She started in a couple more times and he finally told her that he heard her, and she needed to drop it. So she did (except for to my sis-in-law and my parents...)

DH is talking about sending out an email right before we see them all next (July) and laying down some guidelines of how we'd like concerns to be addressed in the future :) and how the sneaking around, gossiping, etc. doesn't work with us....it was really hard to be kind that last day of their visit. I was shaking. Good thing I have lots of tools to use to get this kind of stuff out of my system! I guess any time you do things differently, there will be dissent.

So, as I close out this year, I'm going to use this contrast to focus in on what I really DO want! (and blog about that tomorrow, maybe)...




PS- Declan asked his dad to take him to get a haircut today... with no input from anyone (that I know of). I love that he can make those choices for himself...

It's that time of year....ELF YOURSELF!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Family Pictures

Got the link to the proofs of our family pictures and thought I'd share!!

Family Picture Proofs

The photographer that we worked with is just plain fantastic :) so flexible (figuratively AND literally....she and her husband own and run a yoga studio!) and she really captured some great shots...

Input is always welcomed...I'm going to have such a hard time deciding what to order, and what to use for our Christmas cards...

Holiday yumminess...

Ren posted this and it really got me thinking...

The holidays are fast approaching and I know I could use a dose of inspiration! So let's share our favorite holiday rituals (whatever holiday(s) you celebrate) and some of your family's best tips for projects, outings or games.

Do you make handmade gifts?
How do you save money and make every holiday feel luxurious?
Share photos of your past celebrations and talk about what parts mean the most to you.

Unschoolers are really great at thinking outside the box and I'll bet there are some great ideas out there about celebrating in meaningful ways. Personally, I'd love to see recipes too.:)

How does the unschooling lifestyle assist your family in the celebrations you choose to create?

There is a saying that jumps up and down in my mind when I think of holidays... "Friends are the Family you choose"

We most certainly have a lovely time with our family on Christmas...my parents and brother, Dirk's parents and sister all come to Clovis and celebrate with us! It's mostly because I refuse to go anywhere else :) Maybe when the boys are older, but for now, there is something magical and important (to me) about them waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning...the stockings on our hearth, bulging and overflowing with gifts to be gone through while we wait for everyone to show up if they're not already there...breakfast casserole and sweet rolls in the oven, coffee brewing...aaaaahhhh. Okay, you get my point ;) back to Christmas later...it's time to talk about the roll our friends play in our celebration of the holidays.

HALLOWEEN:

Let the wild rumpus begin! We've been in Clovis for 4 and a half years now, and have a fabulous community of friends that we love celebrating with...just last night, we were at the home of friends for their annual Pumpkin Carving Party!





This is one of my favorite gatherings of people...the kids have a blast jumping on the trampoline and running around the yard playing tag (my boys had so much fun this year, they didn't even want to stop to carve their pumpkins! ) I have an equal blast eating amazing food and visiting with friends (Shaylah and Derek make the BEST soups...last night's array was tomato, chicken and the "famous" albondigas! Shaylah thinks of everything...pasta on the side for kids (and adults!) who like lots of pasta to just pour the broth from the soup over the top...sour cream and salsa to mix in to soups...mmmmmmm) and everyone brings an appetizer or other good to share. Everyone also brings their own punkin to carve...the pics show you how varied and fun the people there are :) GOOD FOOD + GOOD PEOPLE = GREAT FUN

We also have a Halloween Party with the boys' bookclub...a group of about 10 kids that has been together (in different variations, lol) for a few years now :) Traditional fun- dressing up in costumes if they want, some years a parade around the neighborhood or bobbing for apples! Always fun food and activities... this year the boys and I are bringing bags of Tootsie Rolls for our treat- to make sculptures with! Declan and Torin have both been enjoying this activity at home, and decided to share it with our friends :) I'm thinking of finding a "scary story" to tell as well.

This year on Halloween night we'll be joining another group of homeschooling/unschooling friends for food and trick-or-treating fun! It's a potluck weenie roast with a firepit and lots of room to run and play! We live in a very "slow" neighborhood as far as trick-or-treaters go, and so I'll leave a big basket of candy out and let them help themselves :) We'd much rather be enjoying ourselves with our favorite "people". And they truly are our PEOPLE...I feel more at home with these soul-friends than I do when I go back to Tucson to see my parents...


THANKSGIVING:

Our Thanksgiving is in flux...my favorite holiday and we just can't seem to get a tradition together :) The common theme is always "Friends ARE Family"... we had years of driving the 12 hours to Tucson for a HUGE potluck with about 50 family friends. That group has kind of fizzled (with moves to different states and such) and for the last couple of years we've driven down to Riverside to be with friends there...a single father friend of ours has a huge home (including kitchen) that we take over...we all bring our favorite holiday dishes and it a great time for kid and adult alike. Alas, no plans seem to be in the works this year...

And along comes one of my dearest soul-friends, with an invite to Thanksgiving "open house" at their place. I've wanted Dirk to meet her and her hubby (whom I haven't even met yet, lol) for a long time... and so here is the perfect opportunity!! I'll be taking my "famous"...

Sweet Potato Casserole

1 (29oz) can sweet potatoes
3/4 stick butter (melted)
1 1/4C sugar
1/2t cinnamon
1/2t nutmeg
2 eggs

topping:
3/4C cornflake crumbs
1/2C chopped nuts (I use pecans)
1/2C brown sugar
3/4 stick melted butter

Drain and reserve syrup from potatoes...mash potatoes to a smooth consistency using a blender or mixer (using reserved syrup as necessary to get the consistency you want). Add other ingredients and mix well. Place in casserole dish and bake uncovered 20 min at 400.

Mix together topping, spread on casserole and put back in oven for another 10 minutes until nicely browned :)

Serves 4-6

notes: the original recipe (which was in the Tucson newspaper about 6 years ago) left the syrup in and called for warming before mixing. I found this made the casserole pretty soupy and warming seems to be an unnecessary step to me :) Because I'm usually taking this dish to a potluck, I double the recipe (well, I triple the topping because I like lots of crunchy stuff on top!) ENJOY!!




CHRISTMAS:

And we've made it to Christmas! The one holiday we spend with our family-family (though THIS year, I may put together a gathering of soul-family...oh, and the boys' bookclub always has a lil gift exchange for the kids and moms separately)

Some fun traditions:

Christmas Eve: we usually "do" Christmas Eve Mass (though Dirk had to work last year...or was it the year before that?...and the boys chose to stay at home with Aunt Kelly, I think) and spend the evening after that eating tamales, beans and rice with chips and salsa!! YUMMY :) this is what I remember eating on Christmas Eves in my childhood...maybe because being in Southern Arizona, our community was rich with Hispanic rituals. Funny, though, now I've found out that many Hispanic families have only seafood, no meat, on Christmas Eve. :)

The 10 adults in the family have stockings that we "stuff" for each other (Santa's busy with the kids' stockings all over the world, so we do our own!) Each person buys lil gifts (candy, pens, ornaments, etc) for the 9 other stockings... well, personally I buy stuff for my own, too LOL

Boys' gifts: each year the boys each get 3 gifts from Dirk and I... 1. books (it was supposed to be "a" book, but I have a hard time picking just one, so I wrap the books together and it counts as one gift) 2. toy 3. passion (Declan usually asks for science experiments, last year Torin wanted a violin). They also get a big joint gift (this year it's the huge KAPLA block set they played with for hours at LIFE is Good) and Santa makes sure their stockings are overflowing with unique and FUN stuff! Add in the gifts from aunt, uncle and grandparents, and it's still an abundant Christmas for the fellas.

Creche (aka Nativity Scene): this is a tradition from my childhood... the nativity is out all of December, but baby Jesus doesn't make his appearance til midnight of Christmas Eve. I have a number of nativities, so it's fun to unwrap the baby Jesus figurines and put them into their lil mangers all over the house :)

This year there will be more of an overlap of families (long story, but we've found in the past that there's more harmony if my parents and Dirk's parents only have a 3 day overlap in their visits...) so I'm sure we'll come up with new traditions to spend time together in fun ways...

I love this pic of "T in a blanket"....Dirk's Aunt Jo sent us this beautiful quilt (anniversary gift, but it arrived for Christmas!



NEW YEAR'S EVE


Dirk usually works on New Year's Eve...but our first year here at this house, the boys were 5 and almost 2, we decided to ring in the New Year with Bogota! They hit midnight at 8pm our time, and so it seemed "do-able" and fun! We looked up stuff on their culture and I found a couple of recipes to try out...we made shakers/noisemakers and then made a bunch of noise :)


For me, the things I remember most are the fun times shared with family and friends...that's the warm feeling I get from any holiday and the memories that last! Our unschooling lifestyle allows us to do things without the constraint of anyone else's idea of the "right" way to do things....really, we all just have a different mindset, huh? Living a FREE life gives you freedom in all areas of life...

NOW, off to get costume stuff together for our friends' weenie roast tonight...my intention is for the sky to stay clear til after the goodies are gotten!! :) then the rain can come down!!

My first Unschooling United meeting!!!

It was a fantastic night!! I had 6 people (not including myself) at my first meeting tonight...including one dad! The vibe was amazing- so supportive, and loving. It really reinforced the fact that Unschooling United is *needed* in our community...a place for find support for ourselves. The worry in the back of my head, that I'm not worthy of the facilitator role :), felt totally unfounded and downright SILLY once the meeting progressed and the discussion flowed. It was just GOOD.

I truly enjoyed the group & appreciated the diversity- families with infants and college-aged kids! Big families, small families! Unschoolers across the spectrum :)

The discussion starter for the evening was "what is unschooling to you? what is it not?"...and it progressed nicely into discussion of all topics that people needed to touch on!! The lending library I've put together was a big hit, too :)

I feel so blessed to be the one to bring this group into being... All is Well. My childcare challenges were not a factor at all! The boys loved their time at Jax Junglehouse and we wrapped up the meeting in time enough for me to leave without leaving anyone hanging...the silver lining? The boys getting to try out Jax, and me finding another possible sitter (teen boy, woo hoo!) at park day today!!

Pumpkins, Pumpkins...everywhere!!

We've had lots of fun with punkins, yesterday and today...so I thought I'd post some pictures :)

Last night, Old Town Clovis had a pumpkin decorating contest for the kiddos...I didn't think the boys really cared about the whole judging part until Torin won 1st place for his age group and Declan was disappointed with "Most Creative" for his :( They really had a great time creating...




Here's Torin with his ribbon :)




Declan's pumpkin had two faces! Here's the "good" side (not sure if you can see the gold tooth or not, lol)



Here's the "bad" side, which he named....The boy who would not be quiet. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


We had ice cream and dinner at Soups n Scoops (little local place in Old Town) while we waited for the others to finish their decorating...and the whole contest thing was coordinated by Ellen, my dear friend and one of the boys' favorite adults, so it was fun to get to hang out with her, too!






Then today we headed over to the Sierra Vista Mall Community Park (the new area outside the theatre) for the shin-dig there. Besides free ice cream from Maggie Moo's (no mix-ins, darn!) and games, they had pumpkins out for the kids to carve. So these are the fellas we brought home...Declan's is on the left and Torin's on the right. Got to see Geanie, another great friend, for just a minute before my sinus congestion got the best of me and I begged the boys to head home. Last year our Jack O Lanterns made a mushy mess on the porch, so I'm going to see how they do inside, on the hearth, this year :) Wish me luck!!

MindMovie by Col

a new friend, Col, created this MindMovie...enjoy!


Find more videos like this on The Boundless Living Challenge

Agave Chronicles...

I thought I'd blogged about our agave experience :) but I guess not, lol! Here are a few pictures as the shoot progressed... from the day we noticed it (April 17th) to the day we took the agave out of the ground (August 5th, and yes, it was dying...they don't all do that, but the base and "leaves" were starting to shrivel up).





April 17th (neighbors agree...this was not there the day before!!)




May 7th





May 14th





May 20th





May 29th





June 29th





I love this close-up of the blooming sprout (lol) also taken June 29th





August 5th (Dirk on the ladder) Day the Agave Came Down





Dirk is 6'1"...just to give you an idea of how tall the agave got!





this is the rootball, with the baby agaves at the base (that's our favorite neighbor, Harry)





the inside of the plant was pretty yummy!!

In-N-Out's Secret Menu!!

I'd heard of ordering a burger "animal style" and "protein style" but now that I'm not eating meat, I was VERY excited to hear that there's a whole secret menu to order from....which includes a grilled cheese (with veggies!) and animal fries :) Badmouth.net has the whole menu (with pics) posted for you In-N-Out lovers to peruse.....enjoy!!

I *love* this Daily Om!

Shining Brightly

Gemini Daily Horoscope

Today may bring feelings of boldness and the desire to be outgoing. Your confidence allows you to express yourself more publicly than usual. Remember that being extroverted does not mean being overbearing, but being comfortable in your own skin wherever you are, and fearlessly shining your light for all to see. It doesn’t mean we forget to be kind to others either, but perhaps we share our kindness rather than holding back. This energy can mean you smile at more strangers or even chat with them, or perhaps you might share a perceived weakness with a coworker without fear of it reflecting negatively upon you. It could mean you share that much-loved inspiration with someone who you feared might laugh at it or reject it, but now you can let it be heard without that fear.

Although some may find it shocking when we don’t hold our thoughts and feelings inside, being ourselves draws toward us those people who are of like minds and spirits, and pushes away those people whose ideals we don’t share. When we broadcast our true selves, we act as an example for others, showing them how freeing and rewarding it can be. It is not our job to make everyone like us, only to be our best selves to the best of our abilities, without fear. When we harness the bold, outgoing feeling we have today, we can spread light everywhere we go.

Paul Newman DIED?

Okay, this is the one downside to not watching the news or reading online news or the paper...I missed the (HUGE to me) fact that Paul Newman died a week ago. I am sad. I'm still not going to start watching/reading the news, however.

Hardboiled eggs with NO peeling????

HOW COOL IS THAT?!

my daily Om

September 20, 2008
Cautious with Commitments
Gemini Daily Horoscope

A sense of caution today may have you weighing many possible outcomes before making a commitment. This tentative feeling is a valuable guide in making the best possible decisions for you and everyone involved. When we remember to use mind, heart, and spirit in making decisions, our choices are infused with wisdom. The universe helps us to bring about what we create in our minds, but if we are vague, the universe cannot give us exactly what we want. If we evaluate each prospective offer in the light of our goals and weigh them with the wisdom of our hearts and our intuition, we become specific about the most beneficial choices we can make. Today we let caution be our guide in making our best decisions.

When we spend time tuning in to our inner guidance, we learn the difference between the sensible caution that we’'ve been taught and the intuitive cause for concern. Our intuition can guide us around those things that are not visible on the surface, such as the sincerity or ulterior motives of those with whom we are dealing, or even an unforeseeable outcome. We cannot know every detail that needs to be orchestrated in order for our ideas to become reality, but when we attune ourselves to the universe by connecting to our center, we have access to that knowledge. Today, we can let an air of caution guide us to make the best possible decisions using all the tools at our disposal.

Okay, well I've got a number of things I'm looking at juggling in the future and they all seem to fall on the same weekend! Then I have the pre-emptive mommy guilt about doing so many things without the boys. I need to get over that...because when I do things that make me happy, I'm a better mom :)

another good Om

September 17, 2008
Capture Your Passion
Gemini Daily Horoscope
The initial results of your projects could make you feel optimistic about their outcome today. Your upbeat mood might be the result of your excitement about all the possibilities that await you and the journey your projects may take you on. While this enthusiasm may be present now, you might notice that as you progress in a project your eagerness can wane. Writing a journal entry, a letter to yourself, or even drawing a picture detailing the jubilation you feel today can go a long way toward keeping you motivated for the long term. Not only can this make you even more earnest about diving into your project but it can also serve as a reminder of the passion that inspired you to begin it.

Sometimes we need to have tangible evidence of our passion, particularly when we are caught up in the excitement of the moment. The beauty of our passion is that it a driving force, motivating us to move forward in our lives, taking risks and seeking out new opportunities and potential outlets for our talents. As with everything, though, the zeal with which we start something will eventually change once it becomes routine. Capturing our feelings allows us to preserve the spirit of our passion so that we can revisit it whenever we need to and reignite the spark that set our hearts and minds on fire. Noting what delights you about your projects today will keep you interested and engaged for a long time to follow.

We're All Goofy Goobers, YEAH!!

Our Family Theme Song

My Daily Om

I get the Daily Om and have gotten so many good ideas/boosts from it and today's was especially good!


September 15, 2008

Focus On Your Talents
Gemini Daily Horoscope

You might be creating new opportunities for yourself, which may make you feel a greater sense of self-assurance, and the exciting energy that comes from starting something new that can fulfill you might inspire you to work harder toward realizing your dreams today. Allowing yourself to remain open to the different prospects that present themselves to you and having a “can do” attitude could go a long way toward piquing your curiosity and ultimately putting you on the road to success. For every negative thought you might have today, you might work on changing it to reflect a more positive, upbeat, and encouraging attitude. Altering the way you perceive yourself could transform the way you go about doing things in the world.

Focusing our attention on what we are able to accomplish makes it easier for us to realize our dreams. It can be easy for many of us to think about the obstacles that stand in our way or even hold ourselves back because we don’t think we can do what we truly want. Recognizing these thoughts and learning to reframe them, however, puts us into another state of mind, —one in which we are looking at our goals as something realistically attainable through our own talents and resources. Our challenges then become something that moves us further along our path and help us to grow rather than something that hinders us. By viewing your opportunities as something that will propel you forward today, your confidence and capabilities will continue to grow.

I loved reading this :) and it helps me to be even more motivated to work on the restaurant books...I only have 2 wks left before my self-imposed deadline. I'm going to focus on getting it done, knowing that then I'll be FREE to do what I really want to do. (Thanks to dear Shari, for helping me to see that the books were dragging me down to the point where it had become absolutely vital to set a date and let it go!!)

My gift to you....a smile :)

The Spore Academy

I was just talking to Declan about how learning looks different for different families...we have friends who just started going through a charter school and now DC's buddy has lots of worksheets he has to do, etc. The youngest sister is in pre-school, which is what prompted the conversation :) Declan wanted to know if that means the family wasn't unschooling any more. (SUPER funny because as much as the mom and I love and respect each other, they SO aren't open to unschooling!) I tried to convey that what works for one family may not work for ours, etc. and that we participate in music class and karate because those are things that we're interested in and that's how we learn more about them...He pointed out that it's not the same thing to take a class as to go to school...and I agreed :) I told him that the philosophy that works for us is trusting that his mind and body lead him to things that interest him. He said "that's what I love about unschooling, that it's so natural."

So, I segued into something that's been on my mind....our R-4, and our "school name". This whole thing irks me ;) but shouldn't! In California, we register a form with the state, stating our intent to privately educate our children. Kinda like saying your going to function as a private school. On that form, it asks for a school name...and 3 years ago (the first time I filled one out) we decided to be the St. Nicholas Academy. St. Nick is the patron saint of children, of giving, and other good stuff...and I thought it sounded cool, lol. We have honestly never needed to use it anywhere else, but it bugs me nonetheless...this name that no longer fits our family. So I asked Declan what he thought...and he came up with Spore Academy :) Brilliant, I think...the game Spore is all about evolution of your entity (from cell to creature to tribe to civilization...) and the choices you make along the way are yours alone. They also affect how you evolve in the future (of the game)... whether you're seen as a hostile race (if you've killed every other race you came along in one level, [even if you tried making friends first and they wouldn't!] sometimes there's no redeeming yourself in later levels...you're considered hostile!) or other important things...

So anyway...This year I'll be using Spore Academy on our R-4 :)

Blessings...

This YouTube video, and a beautiful article appropriately titled "Blessings Come in Many Sizes", tells the story of my dear friend, Andrea's, youngest child and only son, AJ.

Andrea has always been an inspiration to me...when we first met, her fourth child was just two weeks old. Andie is so much fun- she's a great mom and a joy to be around...she's just one of those people who shines their Light everywhere they go :) and to this day, despite a crazily hectic schedule with all her kids' classes and activities, she's still the same. She brings joy to her own life and anyone she comes in contact with!! She always makes time for her friends...driving the 5 hours with her 5 kids (AJ was about 6mo old at the time) to visit us in Clovis. And she's human :) and sweet enough to share stories that show her in that light (I'm thinking of the time an ENTIRE jug of Kool-Aid got spilled in the fridge and onto the floor. And she yelled!) Like I said, she's an inspiration. Oh, and her lucky hubby Phil is a great guy, too ;)

Pismo!

We had a fun couple of weekends in August :) and so I thought I'd share some pics and stories!! First, our trip to PISMO!





August 21st we headed to Pismo for a long weekend of sun and fun!! Dirk spent much sweat and many hours to get the " 'Mater " ready for the dunes and we were ready to go!! Being the princess that I am, my boys were sweet enough to get a hotel room to stay in so I could come along...the last trip with sand (literally) everywhere was not so fun for me! So we stayed at a place just a block's walk from the beach and it was a great "home base" for our adventures (besides having a full kitchen which helped out with meals...)

Our first breakfast out was at the boys' favorite place...and Dad tried to steal a kiss. Torin wasn't going for it (but looks like he's hating it, huh?)



We were supposed to meet up with some really good friends of ours, but unfortunately they ended up having to back out last minute :( We got over our disappointment and had a fantastic trip...There were some Guard guys there, and Dirk's friend Gus showed up without a running dune buggy, so Dirk won their bet, which the boys were SO excited about! He called them his "secret weapons" because they helped him work on the Mater so much...






We had a great time at the pier and ended up with some fun trinkets...Dirk found a watch, I got a glass pendant and the boys both got beach clothes!! We stood for a long while and watched the surfers, young and old, catch some waves. I just had to take a pic of these two young boys- brothers- they were so much fun to watch and it was apparent that they'd grown up in the ocean ;)

I love this pic of the boys and the pelican. He just sat there so politely while the boys looked at him and I took pictures. He was just amazing!

Talked a nice guy into snapping a shot of the whole family....I'd taken a pic of his family on the pier, so really, he owed me! This wasn't the greatest of all the pictures, but I posted it because the other may end up being our Christmas card this year, lol.


We found shells and marveled at the Moon Jellyfish that washed up on the shore by the dozens on Saturday afternoon (I got to see them after a fabulous walk to the pier...about 4 miles total of beautiful beach strolling, and only one blister from my new flip flops). What a great place to go- we're so blessed it's only a few hours from us! I was teasing Dirk about saving up for a beach home there, lol.

These two pics were taken by Torin (along with like 50 others...he's quite the photographer!) when we were waiting for breakfast at Brad's on the pier. I love the one of the flower- he said it was for me (awwwwww!) The other is of a fun mural on the side of the Splash Cafe across the street from Brad's.




These are from my walk...on the way back I took a different way, trying to find this neat walking path we'd seen people on. Well, i found it! After walking along the main road for awhile (yuck!) through a campground and by the golf course!! It was worth the view. Breathtaking!




I've never been all that attracted to jellyfish- I mean they sting, right? But I just loved a glass pendant that I found with a jellyfish suspended in it (really just a design made of glass within the glass) and was surprised when I saw at least a dozen (maybe two) moon jellies that had washed up on the sand on my walk back to the hotel. I thought that most of them would make it back into the ocean when the tide came up, but we looked them up online and they are pretty simple organisms (not really even animals!) and were probably all dead once they were out of the water a few minutes. Sad...but they were still so beautiful! They had spots inside them that reminded me of the glass orbs I have in my plants...

my singing....things are going to HAPPEN!

I thought I'd post a question (and answer) from one of my favorite email lists...i'm so excited about what the future holds for me, my music and what it will contribute to the world!! "Music Therapy" sounds like a good working title for now (since that's what my major was going to be in college before I was told I'd "never make a living with that kind of degree" and let it go... ahhhh, it's so nice to grow up and mend some of those fences :)


Cid, you've probably shared this here before, but I am guessing you are a singer? Sarah


Funny question, actually ;) well, funny answer...I've always considered my singing to be my *one* God-given talent ;) but besides high school (all-state choir and performance groups) and a stint in a couple of bands in my early 20s, I've never had much "success" with it.

I started this response last week before we left for our trip, and didn't get to it before we left....but an awesome thing happened between then and now. I got this very intense vision of myself singing with a REAL purpose :) I've always pigeon-holed myself as a singer...couldn't seem to get my mind around songwriting (which is totally due to self-limiting...I love writing in general, and have always been very musical, but was more comfortable just singing something someone else made famous, kwim?) Well, I got this idea of writing songs that have to do with: unschooling, living free with children, feel-good move up the vibrational ladder songs, etc. I mean, there are times where sad, life-sucks songs are appropriate maybe...but I'd like to bring the good stuff to the world's table! (One of the reasons I love Amy Steinberg so much is she's got some songs that pick me up and just get me in a good place EVERY time I listen!)

Also a possibility of dabbling in "new" nursery rhymes...teaching kiddos that they create their own reality, other LofA, tapping, freedom songs :) Right now it's just a hodge-podge in my brain...and I don't know HOW it will happen (but that's not really my job, now, is it LOL) but when the initial thought struck me I felt chills travel from my head to my toes and back again and I just KNEW that this is going to start manifesting soon...I've never had anything like that happen before!

And the funniest thing is...the retreat I'm going to is called the Great Big Dreams Retreat. When I first signed up I thought to myself "wow, I guess I need to get myself some great big dreams, cause I can't think of any right now!"

BLC update...

well....not so sure about the bookkeeping, but other areas of my challenge are going just fine, thanks!! and here are a couple of pics to prove it (to myself!)

Beachy, just beachy :)

Well, back from the beach....a bit burned (my scalp, DONNIT!) and just so happy...and tired...and happy...and looking towards leaving on Thursday for another trip. YIKES!! I don't need to be stressed though (tap, tap...) I'm just going to enjoy the days as they come and go. Prepare the best I can (do some laundry, etc.) and live and love my boys as we do "real life" stuff too!! Another week of substituting days for karate :) and another week where the restaurant paperwork will stay piled on the table. And so it is. All is (still) Well.


this last pic is just a reminder to myself, lol

Back in the groove...

I'm excited to get back into a groove of posting more often. I'm going to try to work it into my week at least once, maybe more... I'm going to focus on living in the NOW & I think that will help :) I'm going to set aside time for myself to plan and blog and it'll be good to do that without feeling guilty or thinking about the 20 million other things I "should" be doing.

I'm removing that word from my vocab, BTW. "Should" is now going to be replaced with "could". Ahhhhhh. Doesn't that feel better?

Some thinks I don't want to miss that happened since my last posting, a month ago...

I visited my friend Diane, the Spiritual Healer. As happened last time, it was an eye-opening, heart-opening experience that left me changed forever. I went to her to talk about my persisting back pain (that I shouldn't still be having, damnit! I don't need it anymore!), my crazy chaotic home, inability to finish projects (including the restaurant bookkeeping that's piled on the folding table behind the couch...going on 2 wks now), my weight, life purpose (just thought I'd slip that one in there with the other "mundane" stuff, lol), and perfectionism that leaves me unable to do anything (I call it "lazy perfectionist syndrome"). Not much to work on at all, LMAO!

Just the highlights- she confirmed my suspicion that these things are all entwined :). My back pain is because of supporting everyone else and not feeling supported OR making it a priority to put myself first and support myself. My back, quite literally, can't take it!!

-the reason I can't "fix" my perfectionism problem is because it's not mine to fix. Huh? Well, we all know that we model our parents growing up...and sometimes pick up their traits and stuff. Well, my father has always been a type-A perfectionist and I was expected to excel at everything. The pressure that I felt since them led me to believe that I was a perfectionist....a lazy perfectionist because I just froze up and didn't do anything!! Diane helped me to realize that I AM NOT A PERFECTIONIST! Holy Shit! All these years worrying, wasting energy and not doing what I wanted to do because I couldn't do it perfect....when I really don't care that much at all. And let me tell you, she was right... because now that I've let go of that, I feel so FREE, HAPPY and ALIVE.

I'm not concerned about starting projects and not finishing them anymore, because like I told Diane...I'm not going to start projects that I don't really want to do! And if I decide not to finish something....OH WELL! Whatever! Next! :)

And as for the CRAZY chaos in my living space...my dear friend, Shari (aka the librarian), lent me the book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston.


It's been SO helpful...emotionally, I'm ready to let go and clear the air, so to speak...and I told Diane that I could see the clutter just flowing out the door quite effortlessly...and that's what's happening!! This book was just what I needed. A quick read, it helped me to think of the energy I'm wasting on the crap in the house. I know that this will flow into the area of my "body clutter" as well ;) and the boys are jumping on the band wagon without me asking them to join in.



Declan was stoked to get his room started, and tired of waiting on me... so I took a break from my clutter clearing and helped him start on his room. I was in the NOW. Not thinking of *my* projects still waiting, but really BEING with him and his space. And I didn't even get irritated when we got sidetracked in the dress-up clothes...of course, I had to grab the camera, tho!!


I especially like Declan's reindeer horn "beard".





















Declan and Dirk went to Magic Mountain for the day, last Tuesday, and Torin and I spent the day together doing ALL sorts of fun things! Bowling (Torin's first time) with the boys' bookclub, a stop by a bakery, and a trip for Webkinz! We closed off the day with dinner at Red Lobster....funny thing, too, as we were headed to dinner, Dirk called and he and Declan were headed the same place!





I love these pictures of Torin :) He was kicking back in his cool bowling shoes... we'd discussed how he'd *have* to wear the special shoes (he's not much of a shoe wearer) and it turns out he LOVED them. Was so smitten I asked the manager if they ever sold them...unfortunately not :(

He's so dang cute, posing by the ball return!

This is a purple dinosaur cookie with a Torin head...

And he got to hold a lobster :) the manager thought he was pretty cute, too.

Give the world the best you have...

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful
You will win some false friends and some true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building
someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

- MOTHER THERESA
Carved into the wall of her
home for children in Calcutta

Try it On Everything....

I am approximately 5 minutes into this movie and I'm already teary-eyed and touched by the personal stories.

Try It On Me!! Try It On Everything! It feels like my life is about to change in a big way...I already feel more empowered :)

Boundless Living Challenge!

I just came upon the Boundless Living Challenge last night and after a teleseminar about "Creating" myself with Tracy Liebmann of Transforming Family. It just seemed to be divine timing and I decided to do it, even though I'll only have a month instead of 45 days. Below is my first blog entry for the challenge...

**********

I really have some "unsureness" of what to focus on for this challenge. I would like to better my health/fitness/wellness but at this point I'm surrounded by physical chaos and that could be very helpful to focus on too.... so I decided to sleep on it last night, meditate on it and what I came up with was this:

I feel stuck. I need to do some EFT and see if there's a childhood memory that is at the root of this :)

I have always had a hard time keeping my home/life organized. ARGH!! I've organized and REorganized my desk no less than a hundred times, for instance. I've often felt like I was going to drown in paper. I have multiple projects going on at once and "stuff" from them in different areas of the house.

We have chosen the amazing journey of keeping our boys at home instead of sending them to school. That adds to the "stuff" factor...and I want our home to be LIVED in...I don't want to live in a model home...I just want some organization!!! I don't want to have to *think* about the chaos so much. Maybe this about living in the NOW? That's a message I've been receiving from different sources lately. If I was living in the NOW, I would do what I was doing and put the stuff away when I was done with it! Instead, I'm thinking about the million :) other things I have left to do, and so I don't finish what I'm doing!!

I love having a rhythm to our week, but find that there are so many things that I'd like to "do" that don't get done! I want to organize my time without feeling bound by a schedule. How do I do that?? I don't know but I'd like to figure it out!!

On top of this :) I was asked by a friend if I could help her get her paperwork handled for her restaurant. This was the beginning of 2007 (March, I think?) and I thought that would be fun! I actually enjoy organizing other peoples' stuff, lol. When I started, I didn't realize that they were behind. WAY behind...like their accountant hadn't been able to file their 2005 or 2006 taxes at that point. So, June 2007, she mentioned that (oh, and that it wasn't just the one restaurant, but their other location too!) and my bookkeeping journey began. The accountant uses Quickbooks, and so I needed to purchase the software and learn how to put it in the receipts! All of a sudden, I felt overwhelmed...and still do. At this point, I've finished 2005 and 2006 (boxes and boxes of random receipts, papers, etc to go through, organize and put into the computer) and I'm into the bags of 2007. The accountant, understandably, wants to get it done...and I've got a block. I need to take baby steps, and took out a bag of papers to organize yesterday. I spent two hours on them and I'm almost through it. I have two boxes left of 2007 and then onto 2008.

I think the underlying issue for me is perfection. Perfectionism in a slob? lol Yep, I've heard it called the lazy perfectionist...if I can't do it perfectly I don't want to start. This stems, I believe, from childhood. My dad was (and still is!) a very critical, demanding, "perfectionist" himself and I never seemed to measure up. I got all A's in high school, except one B. Guess what I heard about? I got lectured about the B...I must not have not tried my best, yadda yadda.

A often-used saying in our home was:

"If a job is once begun,
Finish it until it's done.
Be the labor great or small,
Do it right, or not at all!"

HMMMMMMMM>>>>>>>>DO IT RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL???? My husband and I laugh about this now. He's tried to give me a new ending to the little rhyme- "Do it now and have a ball!" But somehow, I've internalized that "do it right or not at all".

So, I'm going to do this thing! I'm going to break down the walls from childhood...I'm going to let go of needing to do things perfectly. I'm going to take control of the "clutter" of my life. A place for everything and everything in it's place, maybe? Or close :) I want to have a creative environment for my boys, so I need to have flexibility! I don't have to be perfect :) I don't have to be perfect :) I don't have to be perfect :)

Empathy Exercises...

I just got Oprah's "Spirit Newsletter" and was very intrigued with the article entitled, "Heartwarming Exercises".

It gives us some "cardio exercises" and states that...

Regular empathy practice keeps you on the edge of your emotional fitness, but the benefits are enormous: an awareness of union that banishes loneliness, a natural ability to connect and relate to others, protection from idiot compassion, a wider, deeper life.

I'm not sure how exactly I'll start. Probably trying to put myself in one or both of my boys' shoes, or Dirk's. Supposedly when you mimic body positioning, facial expression, etc. of someone, you can expect to be flooded with the emotions that person feels, and that helps strenghten "empathy muscles". I'm going to give it a try :) Any and all comments on any tries you make, or thoughts on the article, are greatly appreciated!

BACK at it...

okay, i obviously haven't learned the "back lesson" well enough, because once again, God is giving me an opportunity to grow through pain. Thinking back over the last week, I can see (pretty darn clearly) that I've regressed into "do it all" mode. I gave Torin a piggyback ride into Toys R Us on Sunday (we were shopping for his bday for Declan)...yesterday I picked up a laundry basket of books from the floor and put them on the bed (and put back down on the floor later). I feel healthy, therefore I ACT healthy...I struggle with my belief system about this whole thing.

My mom pointed out, and I agree, that this is the perfect weekend for this to happen. No plans to get out of, and nothing riding on me getting anywhere. I was suprised, last week, when Mr. C changed the testing for karate...originally it would have been this morning, when I couldn't get out of bed. My friend, Julie's babyshower was today...with my main babysitter in Alaska, and the friends that the boys are comfortable staying with either out of town or busy, I told them I couldn't go. I wouldn't have been able to anyway!

Dirk left this morning for his "Climb Mt. Whitney" trip...I mentioned that I had a pinched nerve or something when he got up at 5:30am (I'd woken up to the realization that something was going on with my back around 4:45 when T came in to use our bathroom and climbed in bed with us.) I didn't share my fears with D because I wanted him to enjoy his trip...I'm sure, however, that the boys will tell him what happened and we'll have to discuss it when he gets home on Monday.

I have friends that can help me if I need it, and I will take them up on it if I have to. The boys are both learning a valuable lesson in giving help and taking care of some of their own needs. I'm afraid to say, but have to admit that it takes something like a pinched nerve to make me ask that of them...and of Dirk. Why is that?! Why do I feel the need to take care of everyone else and not ask for help when I need it?

I need to get rid of the Ego identity with "the one who does it all/can do it all" and accept my limitations. I need to find a way to use EFT, visualization, angels and prayer, and REALISTICALLY deal with healing my body. I had such an awesome EFT session with Sunday last week and we got through some major links in emotion and my back issues. This morning when that searing pain shot through me (I almost passed out) I was overwhelmed with fear. I've only experienced pain like this when my disc ruptured (both times) and I was immediately transported back to that place. I laid down on the bed and tapped like a mad woman. Tapped on the fear, tapped on the pain...and realized that this didn't have to be another rupture. The pain before happened because the contents of the disc were pressing on nerves. It could just be a pinched nerve!! And so I tapped on that :) and the fact that my body is perfectly designed to heal itself and communicate it's needs to me. I haven't been a good listener lately...and it had to kick it up a notch, lol. I need to look up some Abe quotes on pain and body issues.

I am able to walk around a bit. I'm taking mega-doses of ibuprofen, some Flexeril, and icing every couple of hours. I've been in bed alot. I'm listening now...and I'm going to have to create a plan to listen more intently in the future...

Who's to say what's impossible...

I love Jack Johnson!!! I wanna turn the world upside down!!!

Sad weekend...

We had a huge tragedy in our zoo Friday night...I noticed that Snowbell, our parakeet, we laying on the bottom of the cage, in the corner. I thought she might be dead, and I was right. Her body was still warm, but the life was gone from her. The birds had been doing some strange things (for them) in the days before that...huddling in the corner on the floor of the cage, sleeping like that instead of their usual hanging in the corner of the cage sleeping pose. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time (except for "oh, how cute, they're cuddling!") but now I'm thinking that maybe she was sick and didn't have the strength to sleep hanging.

So, Torin was asleep, but Declan was awake, and I was trying to figure out how to make it as easy on him as possible. So, I decided to take care of Blueboy (the other parakeet) first...give him fresh water and food, talk gently to him, etc. He'd tried to come out of the cage when I reached in to check Snowbell, so I made sure that the door was latched. When I went to fill his water, there's a special door that goes straight to where the dish is, so I opened that one, and took out the water dish. I must not have twisted the latch all the way, because as I was at the sink rinsing out the dish, he pushing it open and flew out. Dash was nearby, and before I could even turn around, he'd leaped across the kitchen and had the bird in his mouth! I jumped on him, trying to pry his jaws apart and yelling "NO!" but as I pulled, Dash dug in, and when the blood started dripping on to the floor, I knew it was over. Declan was right there in the kitchen with me, and we both watched in horror as Dash walked away with Blueboy in his mouth...

Dirk came in and put Dash outside, and took care of both of the birds' bodies. We had a very sad night...and Saturday morning we found a spot to bury them, and decided to use one of my Margaret Hudson sculptures to mark the grave. We'll miss our little birdies...they brought joy into our lives.