VOTE PLEASE!

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e


Would you vote for me please?? And tell all your friends to vote, too?!

One vote per day, per IP address til Nov 6th...so use all your 'puters every day ;) I want to make it to the second round and I need THOUSANDS of votes to get into the top 20 (what in the heck are they people doing to get so many votes?) so I'm looking to go VIRAL!

Thanks so much for helping me become the "Good Mood Blogger" lol

Follow-through...

something I am not known for, lol. Why? So many theories...I used to blame it on being a perfectionist. A "lazy perfectionist". You know, if you can't do it right, don't do it at all. Through lots of Inner work, I've come to realize that I'm not a perfectionist at all...lots of time wasted on that excuse :)

So am I just a procrastinator? Is it because I'm a Gemini? A 7 on the Enneagram?

The word "procrastinate" has latin roots...meaning "forward" and "belonging to tomorrow". I guess if you always put off til tomorrow what can be done today (and all that happy horseshit, lol) It has such a negative connotation, doesn't it...to be called a procrastinator is not a good thing. I just have such a hard time actually sitting down to do whatever it is I need to do! I lose track of time (which I'm trying to remedy by using the timer on my phone more, and not sitting in front of my computer for extended periods (but then my email inbox gets out of control, lol).

Gemini are known for their duality. From the article that I linked to...

The air of Gemini is always changing direction. First the winds blow one way, then another. It's a metaphor for how our mind solves a puzzle, first thinking one way and then trying a different approach. This is a restless and searching wind.

So is that why I'm so here and there? Why I struggle to finish what I start??

The Enneagram describes nine distinct personality types...nine different perspectives on life...nine ways of being in the world. The Reformer, The Helper, The Achiever, The Individualist, The Investigator, The Loyalist, The Enthusiast, The Challenger and The Peacemaker. I'm a "seven", aka The Enthusiast. I would highly recommend the book, The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson to anyone interested in the Enneagram at all. This was a hot topic on my Christine Kane retreat last year....and I learned a TON about myself as a result.

From the above book, I am a seven with a six wing, which makes me the "Entertainer" (apropos, yes?) and they have this to say about the "average" Entertainer...

They are generally productive but can lose focus, become scattered, with less follow-through than the other subtype.

hmmmmmmmm. So a whole lot of ideas (sevens are known for being gifted at brainstorming and synthesizing information, lol)

So, I wonder if any of the "Practices that help Sevens develop" would help?

-when you are mentally revved up, take a moment to breathe and see what is really going on with you

-It is not so much that you ignore your negative feelings as that you process them incompletely....see how your feelings are experienced in your body.

-Learn to notice your impatience and its roots.

-Find the joy of the ordinary.

-Meditation can be extremely helpful for Sevens, especially for quieting down the mind.

-You do tend to be happier and more exuberant thatn most people. See what happens when you can share that feeling with others without pushing. You are most profound and effective when you are grounded and steady- at such times your joy is evident and affecting to everyone.

so....that's it for now. I have a plan for today, I need to stick to it so I can get my other stuff done. I think that's what I need to do to complete more of what I start- have a plan, and stick to it. It's the "stick to it" that's challenging for me, tee hee. I've had many plans before....GOOD plans. But it's the following of the plan that eludes me :)

Baby steps....
Peace & Abundance, Cid

Piano...

oh my gosh...I love this couple :)

Never get it all done...

I've been getting the message from the Universe...that I'm never gonna "get it all done". I love it when messages come at me from various sources, all at once =)

All is well, and you will never get it done. Life is supposed to be fun. No one is taking score of any kind, and if you will stop taking score so much, you will feel a whole lot better -- and as you feel a whole lot better, more of the things that you want right now will flow to you. You will never be in a place where all of the things that you are wanting will be satisfied right now, or then you could be complete -- and you never can be. This incomplete place that you stand is the best place that you could be. You are right on track, right on schedule. Everything is unfolding perfectly. All is really well. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun!

Excerpted from a workshop in Tucson, AZ on Tuesday, February 20th, 2001

All Is Well

Each time I set aside a weekend to "GET IT DONE" (which mostly means tackle some of the organization projects that have been needing to be done for awhile) something comes up!!

Most recently, my brother's truck broke down (18wheeler) in Fresno on a Friday, giving him the whole weekend to stay with us and visit! So I set aside well-made plans and enjoyed his company...we don't get to see him often. Oh, and then there was Easter weekend when, in addition to the festivities of Easter, we were planning on gutting my closet, laying bamboo flooring and building new shelves, rods, etc. with the help of Home Depot product and hubby sweat...and then got a short-notice invite to celebrate my cousin's birthday (on Easter Day this year) in Phoenix...see the trend here?

And it's joyful substitutions I'm making, so I know it's a gentle nudge to ENJOY LIFE! So I'm complying ;) but wondering when all the other stuff is going to fit in to my life...I hope at some point, because I'm looking forward to a beautiful closet!

amazing and inspirational...

Susan Boyle knocked my socks off. I am humbled...truly inspired and open to all possibilities after watching this...I'd seen a you tube video of her singing last week, but the opening to this one (the rolling of eyes in the audience, etc.) really hit home.

Total Annihilation

Total Annihilation is a new (well, not exactly NEW now) passion that all three boys share...I love it when they set up at the table and play. The smack-talk is enjoyable to listen to, too :)

another good Om

September 17, 2008
Capture Your Passion
Gemini Daily Horoscope
The initial results of your projects could make you feel optimistic about their outcome today. Your upbeat mood might be the result of your excitement about all the possibilities that await you and the journey your projects may take you on. While this enthusiasm may be present now, you might notice that as you progress in a project your eagerness can wane. Writing a journal entry, a letter to yourself, or even drawing a picture detailing the jubilation you feel today can go a long way toward keeping you motivated for the long term. Not only can this make you even more earnest about diving into your project but it can also serve as a reminder of the passion that inspired you to begin it.

Sometimes we need to have tangible evidence of our passion, particularly when we are caught up in the excitement of the moment. The beauty of our passion is that it a driving force, motivating us to move forward in our lives, taking risks and seeking out new opportunities and potential outlets for our talents. As with everything, though, the zeal with which we start something will eventually change once it becomes routine. Capturing our feelings allows us to preserve the spirit of our passion so that we can revisit it whenever we need to and reignite the spark that set our hearts and minds on fire. Noting what delights you about your projects today will keep you interested and engaged for a long time to follow.

Beachy, just beachy :)

Well, back from the beach....a bit burned (my scalp, DONNIT!) and just so happy...and tired...and happy...and looking towards leaving on Thursday for another trip. YIKES!! I don't need to be stressed though (tap, tap...) I'm just going to enjoy the days as they come and go. Prepare the best I can (do some laundry, etc.) and live and love my boys as we do "real life" stuff too!! Another week of substituting days for karate :) and another week where the restaurant paperwork will stay piled on the table. And so it is. All is (still) Well.


this last pic is just a reminder to myself, lol

Try it On Everything....

I am approximately 5 minutes into this movie and I'm already teary-eyed and touched by the personal stories.

Try It On Me!! Try It On Everything! It feels like my life is about to change in a big way...I already feel more empowered :)

oh, my GOSH...LIFE is Good :)

I cannot begin to describe the feeling that I have, walking around here (here being the Red Lion Hotel in Vancouver, WA...the location of the LIFE is Good Unschooling conference) other similar-minded folks. I've met IN PERSON, people I've only met online before....either through Imagination Tribe or on unschooling lists...Barbara, Robyn, Pam (the mama of my doll Lola!), delicious Diana, Marys (King, Gold, Lewis...) and so many other inspiring people! People whose books I've read! Scott of the Daily Groove! AAAAAHHHH! and to top THAT off-

AMY STEINBERG SANG IN CONCERT LAST NIGHT AND I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH HER! Which seems so funny to scream right now because I already consider her a dear friend, lol. She's one of those amazing people that you connect with and feel like you've known each other forever....[happy sigh] and she's an amazing singer, songwriter and musician...and she lives what she sings. And how f'n cool is that?





My fun-meter is pegged (in a good way)...I'm overwhelmed with all the good in my life and OH MY GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT! There is a Joe's F'N Crab Shack w/in walking distance...AND they have a new spicy boil for their crab legs :) I'm in heaven. And all my favorite people are here with me.




We've had amazing family bonding time (and how could we not, all of us in a hotel room together for days, LMAO. I may just blog more on that part later...


Dirk went to a presentation on unschooling and math that he really enjoyed (that one was a Godsend, seriously). I spoke with Mary Lewis, the speaker, and she said that she'd prayed before she went on, that she would say what someone needed to hear and that they would be open to hear it... well, she said some stuff that he really heard :) Thank you, Mary!!



This is a pic of Dirk trying to wrap his head around the idea of RU, lol :) the real look was better, this one was a re-inactment so I could take a pic!

I'm starting a...

CRAP DETOX!!

A f'n lightbulb moment...

Please excuse my crassitude (yep, it's a word...I found it when I was looking up crassness to make sure that IT was a word!) with the post title, but I came to a huge realization today when I was working out. Yep, working out....that thing that I've been avoiding for a couple of weeks...fyi, this is going to be a major example of stream of consciousness writing. I haven't gotten all my thoughts out yet and I probably won't go back and edit so *reader beware*. I've been reading Tolle's "A New Earth" (who hasn't, right?) and even though I'm only through Chapter 4, BIG things are happening in this scattered brain of mine.

1. my weight issues...am I sabotaging myself?? Sure is easier to have that 20 pounds to "worry about" than the real stuff that's deep inside. I'm going to take a cue from Christine Kane's (one of my favorite musicians and bloggers!) recent post "Creating vs. Getting" and change my focus. I don't need to "get the weight off" or "get into a size 10 jeans"...I'm going to create a healthy, strong body. I feel GREAT when I'm sweating at the gym! I'm worth it :) and if I don't focus on my health, the boys won't see that being healthy is important to me and I won't have the energy to play with them all day, every day!

And along with that, I'm going to listen to what Eckhart said on one of the Oprah webcasts and really listen to my body as I'm eating. Does it really want what I'm about to put in it? As far as snacking goes, am I really hungry or just lonely? (klaxon is going off inside my heart on this question) Why am I drinking a soda when it doesn't really even taste good to me? WTF? The food doesn't really work as the bandaid that I'm using it for.

2. my awareness of my Inner Being...I've been struggling with my Faith lately. Namely, the noise in my head that is the guilt of the Catholic faith that I still often enjoy :) But something Oprah said on a webcast of the book discussion (I found them to download free at iTunes, btw) really speaks to me... "God is a feeling experience, not a believing experience. If God, for you, is still about a belief then it's not truly God."

I'm not sure what I'm saying here, just that I'm so confused, lol. I am so grateful to God, the Source, the Universe...whatever you want to call Him/Her/It for my life and the path that I'm learning and growing on. I'm coming into closer contact with the Light within myself...and a quote from Eckhart (p.78) "Spiritual realization is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think or feel is ultimately not who I am, that I cannot find myself in all those things that continuously pass away."

And that what remains, after the Ego is no longer, is "the light of consciousness... That is Being, that is the deeper, true I... whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness."

Today, when I was at the gym, sweating and focusing on the MOMENT, which was the creation of health and strength, I could feel the *energy* of my Inner Being, my real self...and it was awesome!

Now, I need to keep reading and see if Ekhart can help me figure out what my Purpose is, lol. There are so many things that I am drawn to and I have no idea how to balance it all. Being in the moment, each moment, helps....but there is still only so much of this "structure" I'm inhabiting to go around!

Love and Light, Cid

Socialization (My boys hate the ice cream truck!)

I had the funniest experience today...Dirk and Torin and I were at the table by the front window...the window was open and the "music" (if you can call it that) of the ice cream truck was playing on the street outside. Torin sez "I hate that noise." Dirk answers, "from the ice cream truck? that really bugs me too...looks like he's stopped right outside...wish he'd turn it off til he starts back up."

I had this "WHAAAAAAA?" moment....as a kid growing up in HOT southern Arizona, I *loved* the sound of the ice cream man comin'. Chances are I could scrounge up some change for a bullet pop, which usually melted down my hand faster than I could eat it. I *loved* that sound!

Later in the evening, Declan and I were going through some of the "stuff" that had taken over a corner of his closet, and he came upon a notebook of drawings he'd done. He flipped through, telling me about this "Man" and that (you know, Lava Man...Fart Man, drawings of superheros in his mind, maybe some are super-villans?) and he came upon a sketch that he explained was how he reacted to hearing the ice cream man driving by. It was a picture of him, screaming, with his hands over his ears....with the ice cream truck in the background!! I asked him when he'd drawn it (figuring he'd overheard D & T earlier, not thinking about the fact that it was at the bottom of the back corner of his closet, lol)...he said "I dunno, a long time ago".

WHAAAAAAAAA?

Please don't tell anyone, k? Then everyone will know for sure that socialization really IS a problem at our house...lmao ;)



Picture is thanks to the boys' recent obsession with the Photo Booth program on their Macs :)

"Tao-boys"

Here are some pics of my cowboys (Torin pronounces it tao-boy, lol)

Declan came up with these "Cowboy Rules"

1. keep a workin' (and do your best, Torin adds)
2. mind yer manners
3. have a dang-blasted good time while yer at it!


href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinjxDkt8pS67DlBKLp1eAcnRJgi6S057truEqO13xxG0RhPEWxgRLGeGghTxEfctB678D3WSKlwjFCeGyAEnzEOBvS2FJz9sw3AJ3c4-MU-BgOR22sQADm2lAQNhloGJ2u-OEjZw/s1600-h/IMG_3062.jpg">

Which side of the brain do YOU choose, and when?

My dear friend, Shaylah, had a (very small) stroke last week. Talk about a shock to us all (including her)...her father-in-law shared this video with her, and she shared it with me. It's beautiful.

Letting them find their own way...

Another perfect example of how a child can find the path that is best for him if you just stay out of the way: Declan is testing for his blue belt in karate tomorrow morning. We just got home from our Easter trip (I really will blog on that soon....really) and his testing kindof snuck up on us.

The poor fella really got himself worked into a tizzy over testing. No matter what I said or did to try to reassure him (everything from complimenting him on how much I enjoy watching him do his katas, to reassuring him that "testing" wasn't a big deal at his belt level, I'd heard it was very laid back, to sharing stories of how nervous I am before I sing, and how that energy helps me perform) he was literally sick with worry. He got a "mind-numbing headache" (his words, not mine) and so I focused on that, and how to help him feel better. I apologized for not cueing into his nervousness earlier in the day (he'd been snapping and Torin and I...and the boys had a number of physical altercations). I had him lay down in his dark room with a cool "beanbag" thing on his forehead and he drifted off to sleep. I tried to gently wake him an hour or so later, to see if he wanted to go to the early karate class or the later one and his headache was gone so we rushed off to the early class.

On the drive, I told him that he's SO good at karate, but the reason he's going to the class is that he really enjoys it!! I don't care if he tests...if he doesn't want to we'll just tell Sensei that he doesn't want to and he can stay a white belt! I wanted him to realize that he wasn't going to be forced into anything he doesn't want to do. I told him that he could just go and watch the testing process so he will know what to expect the next time (Mr. C tests twice a year.)

I just had to trust that he knew what was best...and assure him it wasn't mandatory. After class, and Sensei talking to them about what was going to happen, and that if they "messed up" they could try again, he was *excited* about testing and said he couldn't wait until the morning.

oh, so much to blog on...

and so little time. I'll get back to our trip happenings soon (maybe during one of our flights?) but for now, I have to mention a conversation I just had with Torin:

we're in the car (my dad's... that I had to ask to use the keys for, just like in high school...but I digress) on the way home from GameStop and I told Torin that he'll probably need to turn his shirt right-side out before we go out to dinner. (He's my creative dresser...which I *love* about him) He asks why. I say "for Papa...he'll feel more comfortable." He asks, "why does it have to be about Papa. Why isn't it about me?" I sheepishly answered, "that's an awesome question, T." SCHOOLED BY MY 5 YEAR OLD. shit, what's the matter with me??????? I agreed with Torin that sometimes, he's smarter than I am, by far.





update on dinner.....Torin wore his shirt just the way it was (inside out, tag showing on the back) and not a word was said ;) all that silliness on my part for nothing...

What Weight Watchers had to say...

about my miserable weight loss last week...

If you're feeling neutral about your weight-loss result, here's a little fact to make you smile: A safe rate of weight loss is up to two pounds per week. So you're seeing success! You're doing the right thing.

Why not pin this anonymous quote up on your fridge or bulletin board: "Feel pride in how far you've come and confidence in where you're going."

Take care this week…

Guess I need to see where I'm not doing great (hmmmm....maybe the Starbucks in place of lunch yesterday?) and make better choices. I feel FANTASTIC after my trip to the gym this morning...boys are NOT loving having the sitter come so I can go tho. Gotta figure that out...anyhoo...don't know if it was the exercise or the HOT shower (uninterrupted, no less) that did it :) but I feel great.

happiness...

"No matter what you are doing, keep the undercurrent of happiness. Learn to be secretly happy within your heart in spite of all circumstances." -- Paramahansa Yogananda